What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? He wanted to get a long little doggie. What do you call a bear without any teeth? Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. They lift them up and slam them on the ground. What's the best thing about Switzerland? You look drunk. All Rights Reserved. Share the best GIFs now >>> When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Because they hit foul balls. Otherwise, close the page now. A little horse. 15. 7 Up in cider. What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? Because he felt burned out. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Low flying airplane noises! Totally shocked. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? He loses. The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. What Is My Angel Number? Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? Whats long and hard and full of semen? Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". How does a squid go into battle? It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. A meltdown. You wait here. What did the leper say to the prostitute? #challenge #experiment One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. * You don't want my opinion? Hes been going through some shit. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. A Maybe. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? For fingering a minor. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. By the bark. I was kidnapped by mimes once. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Once. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! I'm a helicopter! What did the little tree say to the big tree? Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. That really hurt!" the first friend exclaims. 1. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Because they are so lavable. Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. 134 Likes, 20 Comments - Wellness Habits + Accountability partner (@cassiehuntwellness) on Instagram: "There's kind of a running joke in my family. She gave me an Australian kiss. How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? What do boobs and toys have in common? Buy any 10 and get 50% off. Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? The bartender says, "Why the long face?". Bernadette. What's a foot long and slippery? 1. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. He kept leaving little messages around the house. The box a penis comes in. If you need so much space, theres always NASA. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. A gummy bear. Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? Did you hear about the depressed plumber? You think youre funny, but youre snot!. "You're looking sharp. Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time. Oh look! There are twenty of them. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. Broomates. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? The husband, surprised, pulls his out. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? Country Living editors select each product featured. He worked it out with a pencil. Manage Settings Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay? Later on, the girl is yelling, Cheese cheese, tomato tomato! The younger brother says, Stop making sandwiches! "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". Get Ready to LOL With These 70 Hilarious Jokes, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Your job still sucks. 3. They left a sweet note on my windshield that said "parking fine.". 3. A golfer goes. Oinkment. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up If youre not in prison. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? What do you call a pony with a sore throat? Because there were a lot of knights. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? No, but I wanted to save you the trouble of thinking for yourself. You planet. 14. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! A Mississippi. Why do cows have bells? 13. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. Sneakers. How can you tell its a dogwood tree? My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . A slipper. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. 17. So they don't peel. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. 19. How do celebrities stay cool? Then it hit me. Why do bees have sticky hair? The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. Its the same as a French kiss, but down under. According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. We dont serve your type.. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { Things they would quickly admit are wrong to say, or that they shouldn't have said. "Catch up!". Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. 4. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Beef strokin off. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related Two peanuts were walking down the street. If they ask, "Who asked?" Fuck you said. Did you fall from heaven? By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. Where does the general keep his armies? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Why don't chickens play baseball? What did the big flower say to the little flower? Why did the student eat his homework? Why do geese fly south in the winter? As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. What do we want? Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 14. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. Did you hear the rumor about butter? How is sex like a game of bridge? The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Elementree school. Cereal who? A pork chop. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Cookie Notice Check out these funny one-liners that will give you the biggest laughs from the fewest words. The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. So youre the only one? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. Now that youve learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, check out these classic Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyones day. A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. 69 with three people watching. 41. A deodor-ant. Me! Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. Not all men are annoying. Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. I decided to start smoking only after sex. and our Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Is it in?. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? What do you get from a pampered cow? Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. Just-in. 39. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Knock Knock! From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. What do you call it when Batman skips church? A maybe. Because they're really good at it. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? . 32. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. Remains to be seen. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. What did the left eye say to the right eye? dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. He told me to stop going to those places. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. 12 / 102. Why do vegetarians give good head? Whos there? But I'm clean now. Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. A pouch potato. Explanation: The French philosophers most famous line is I think, therefore I am. His least famous line: Is this seat taken?. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. A buccaneer. Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". 6. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What do you call friends you listen to music with? But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Aye matey. Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. What did the penis say to the vagina? It was two tired. 22. To Who? After five years your job will still suck. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. 9. Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! Ouch! Whos there? Wait. Watch me pretend to care. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. Last Updated: December 5th 2022. So they don't peel. A limbo champ walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Dry?". 2. Because theyre used to eating nuts. The infantry. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. Where do young trees go to learn? 30. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. How do you make a tissue dance? Because he's got little legs. While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. When When When When When When When. That's it for now! You wait here, I'll go on ahead. You boil the hell out of it. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Why is Peter Pan always flying? A guy will search for a golf ball. Why do bees have sticky hair? It is a pretty rude thing to say. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? What do you call a pig that does karate? What did the full glass say to the empty glass? 2.) How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Your wife will always blow your bonus! 3. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. An impasta. "Between you and me, something smells.". (Its three.). 40. Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Because they're very good at it. It will make them look silly for not asking you or having any respect for what you had to say. * No, you didn't. What's your point? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" With a little creativity and quick thinking, you can defuse the who asked bomb and keep the conversation going. A cherry float. * You didn't ask me? I hope Death is a woman. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. What do you call a hippie's wife? You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Why was six afraid of seven? They both have an ability to misfire. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. What's the best smelling insect? You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Control Freak. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? 23. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. 36. Fssh. Ivana who? Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? The batroom. Because they're always stuffed. Why does bread take so long to digest? Now do you get it? A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Which will often come across very rudely. Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. Explanation: This ones full of nods to music: Chopin and Bach were composers, and a minuet is a type of dance (and the music that goes along with it). The man. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" You put a little boogie in it. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. What do you call an expert fisherman? A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. Original don't care + didn't ask. Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. A cheese factory exploded in France. Every 'Who asked' copypasta. Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list.