What exactly is viewer discretion? George Carlin 13. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. window.csa("Config", { People are wonderful one at a time. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. You have no choice. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. It's a big club and you ain't in it. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. You dont. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads Never argue with an idiot. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. ' George Carlin, 56. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. } // page settings " George Carlin By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. They own, and control the corporations. This is what we have to offer. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. I hate groups of people. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? googletag.cmd.push(function() { My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Right in the fucking head! Do not believe anything the government tells you - George Carlin When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, Ever. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. The challenge is to find it. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. (?) "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. October 29, 2004. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. This is the best we can do folks. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. apstag.init({ The planet is fine. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Then you live in an old age home. Theres a humorous side to every situation. } 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); return false; In America, anyone can become president. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. Forget the politicians. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; George Carlin. " George Carlin Quotes Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). You know what they ought to do with churches? } Quote by George Carlin - SComedy He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. BAM! War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Enjoy! George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. its only a symbol. George Carlin. Use your fucking heads! Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Theres no present. } catch (err) { The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. They own you. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. [CDATA[ Cause pretty soon they have little hats. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. #privileges. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin quotes. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. if (isRetina) { [CDATA[ It doesnt only represent the good things. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. 2. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. //]]> Try spelling Evian backward. They will do anything for the unborn. Government is an important institution. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. [CDATA[ Lets get started! The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. We think in language. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. } else { Goalcast inspires the world through stories. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. I have certain rules I live by. So arrogant. }, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. You don't. You have no choice. Resources. Nobody seems to care. We havent tried that for a while. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Hes not a cheese. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. q("i", arguments) Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. It will not be with jack-boots. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! Laugh until you gasp for breath. stylesheet.href = url; I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. This is the best we can do folks. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. Source; . But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. They own all the important land. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. a[a9] = { One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.